More American exports

I have to interrupt the travelogue sequence to mention this distressing development: the Olympics have brought cheerleading to China.

I had heard a while ago that the Olympics Committee was recruiting for cheerleaders, but I was blissfully ignorant as to just how seriously they were taking the task. When I left, it was a pretty low-level story. I return, and it's everywhere. Perhaps you have heard that the Patriots cheerleaders were brought over (were the Cowgirls offended not to be chosen, or would it have interfered with their reality-show commitments?) to give lessons. Now I have just turned on the television to find a cheerleading competition program, complete with university (and non-university -- professional?) outfits. As far as I can tell, apart from the university letters, the biggest difference is that the non-students wear these weird knee-to-ankle coverings, like legwarmers, but with the looser styling of pants. The area between the bottom of the skirt/short and the knee, however, is bare. Oh, and the non-students are in fact better practiced.

The really frightening part of this, though, is going to be the audience participation. In addition to no fewer than 207 official songs, there is an official Olympic cheer. Which, judging from the audience at the cheerleading competition show, every single Chinese citizen is going to be performing, in a spectacular display of movement in unison (I expect this to take on an especially surreal quality during synchronized swimming). This will be possible because (a) it's China, and they're used to things like that, and (b) it's just about the easiest cheer you could imagine (I refer you to the video). I recommend you learn it -- after all, you have almost 30 days, and then you too can feel like part of the crowd as you watch the events on TV!