little trouble in big china

I wasn't going to post a lot of Chinglish shots, in part because it's everywhere, and I think that even the not-that-funny mis-translations are too commonly passed around.  It seems a little unfair to me to make fun of second-language English that isn't really much worse than some things you'd find written by native speakers in the States (don't get me started), and a lot of the English writing here, while it may be a little odd or somehow off, is understandable.  After all, there are a lot of non-Chinese speakers walking around with nonsense etched onto their bodies, which seems a wee bit sillier to me than the average sign or menu item.

That said, there are some translations that really grab my attention, either because they're outrageous from a Western standpoint (see embryo egg rolls) and almost certainly not what the translator/original author intended, or because they're so puzzling that even knowing what the Chinese means doesn't help me understand how they got to the translation. 

This is only mildly funny (to me), but I included it anyway because it half-fits both categories.  I think the Chinese think Americans/Westerners use "OK" to mean something better than we do, because this is the second "OK/Okay Cafe" I've seen.  I'd figure it out myself, but the Chinese basically translates to "little wood house" -- which makes a lot of sense for the decor, but not so much with the "ok".  On the other hand, my mom and I stopped at the other Okay Cafe for coffee and hot chocolate the other day.  The drinks were... as advertised.

Awesome.  I have visions of some surfer dude making a living as a translator.  These dishes are SUPEREXCELLENTE, man!

Unfortunately, sometimes Surfer Dude's work boggles the mind. The dish here is actually known as black fungus (a yummy mushroom (?) that's supposed to lower your cholesterol). Literally translated, it could be "black wood ear"; nobody at the table could figure out how that became "jew's-ear." I just hope they're not opening a branch in the Middle East (and frankly, the food was nowhere near superexcellente, so I don't think that's a credible threat).

One of the things I did while in Hong Kong was check out their Avenue of Stars, the equivalent of Hollywood's Walk of Fame.  The Avenue is actually on the Kowloon side, right by the river (like Brooklyn-Manhattan, but if you want a geography lesson, here's a map), so you can get a nice view of the Hong Kong skyline.  When it's not foggy and overcast, that is.

The Avenue consists of a bunch of stars set in cement squares, featuring names of famous actors, actresses, producers, and directors who've worked in Hong Kong cinema. Some of the squares even have hand (or other) prints, like the Hollywood walk.  

Some of the stars were mainlanders who are/were big in Hong Kong movies (e.g., Jet Li, aka Li Lian Jie here), while others were Hong Kong born and raised (e.g., Chow Yun Fat).  But the biggest, of course, was an American citizen.

What with all of the people surrounding this statue (the only one on the walk) to get pictures, I didn't actually see whether Bruce had a star, but even if he didn't, it seems pretty clear that they love him here.

Then I went to Hangzhou (a small city about 1.5 hrs from Shanghai by train, and by "small" I mean "only 2 million people within the city limits, with another 4 million in the suburbs"), where I came across this restaurant. I'm not entirely sure what the liberal use of Bruce here is supposed to connote (our food is as fast as Bruce?  more likely just flagrant idolatry, I suppose), but his picture is supposedly on everything, even the spoons they use inside.  My mother didn't want to eat here, so I can't vouch for that myself.

Anyway, last night my uncle, who's in town every few weeks for business and checks on me to make sure I'm doing ok, that my apartment's not flooding, etc., stopped by to drop off some stuff for me. Usually this means that he has some English-language newspapers or magazines, maybe some paperwork, new gadgetry, or some tasty goodies from Singapore.  So imagine my surprise when out of the plastic bag he hands me I extract.... Bruce! My uncle apparently likes this chain and figured since he was there, he'd get one for me to try too.

Unfortunately, I was already cooking dinner when he came by, so I didn't get to sample Bruce's beef and rice dish while it was "fresh."  It's possible that something got lost in the reheating process, so I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt, but overall, I'm afraid to say that it tastes like fast food. The rice was nicely done (I appreciated the packaging, wherein the beef sits on top of the rice in a nested container, so as not to make the rice soggy before you actually eat it), but the beef was pretty salty.  Not surprisingly, it was also clearly fast-food quality beef -- edible, but fatty, and not Grade A. I would eat it in a pinch, but I don't see craving it anytime soon; for now, I think I'll limit my Bruce consumption to movies.

The government laid down this law in January.  It's now not even the end of February.  Clearly, the Chinese plastic-bag industry doesn't have lobbyists.

This doesn't really have anything to do with China; I just thought these restroom signs were cute.

These were on sale everywhere in Hong Kong.  I still haven't figured out why; I have yet to see them on the mainland (people playing cards in public is a common sight here -- all normal-sized decks, though).

Maybe this is what they mean in HK when they say "big marketing campaign".  Mr Extra Large Corn here was later joined by Miss Growth Hormone Porkchop (complete with big red lips and eyelashes -- funny, I've never thought of my chops as female).  Unfortunately, I didn't get a shot of them working the crowd together.  Elsewhere, I also came across a big inflatable-head chef (for some spaghetti chain), and Geoffrey the Giraffe from Toys R Us.   Pictures of more oversized (but real!) food here.

OK, to clarify:  the first character can indeed be translated as "embryo".  But I'm told that in conjunction with the second character, it really means something more akin to "wheat germ." 

...no one rested. 

I was wondering why fireworks have still been prominently for sale (but not on sale) for the past week.  It turns out that the 15th day of the New Year is the last day of holiday celebrations, and what starts with fireworks should of course end with fireworks.  I can't imagine that it'll be as big as New Year's Eve was, but they're going pretty strong already. 

Of course, some people have kept the magic alive pretty much habitually for the last two weeks -- every evening since I returned from Hong Kong I've heard at least a small burst of fireworks, but the efforts have been much smaller and more isolated.  Tonight, all the big guys from New Year's Eve seem to have come out to play, and it's only 7pm.  I can only expect it to compound as the night goes on, and rest assured I will be wearing my earplugs when I walk to dinner with the family tonight.

As for video from New Year's Eve, I'm still working on that... my sad, sad connection here was giving me an upload rate of 4KB/sec last time I tried, so while I'm hoping that was an aberration, it might yet be a few weeks before I can put up anything substantial.

Looks like strawberry, right?   Nope, them's red beans.

I had a taste of this ice cream (too full from dinner to claim one of my own, and I wouldn't have chosen this one anyway).  It's actually not bad, especially considering I'm not a fan of red bean paste (common in Chinese desserts).  The ice cream itself was pretty plain, only slightly more flavorful than vanilla.  The red beans... well, they're beans -- kinda mushy and bland inside.  Imagine kidney beans in your ice cream, and you'll get pretty close.  Won't make my wish list, but Mom was a satisfied customer.

More food pictures from Hong Kong to come.  In case you've been wondering why I don't have more food posts, the locals (i.e., all street food vendors) here often don't want their picture taken, and will glare sullenly at you even if the camera's only pointed at the food.  Until I grow a third arm or find a willing participant to help me buy, hold, and photograph (not to mention eat) snacks here, food shots may be limited (and/or poor due to their furtive nature).  People in Hong Kong proved somewhat less reluctant, so I tried to stock up.  Those of you looking for non-food posts... it might be a while. 

A Japanese department store in Hong Kong had a bunch of food demonstration/displays as part of its new year festivities.  These are nut cookies (I believe the varieties were almond, pistachio, pecan, peanut, and possibly macadamia): the woman in yellow rolls out the dough, while the guy in blue is in charge of the baking.

First, he places the nuts on the iron tongs, the dough on top of the nuts, and then the clamped tongs go over the fire to his left (bottom in the picture).  He then takes off the tong on the opposite end, removes the now-cooked cookie, moves the set of tongs down, and starts over.  I didn't stay long enough to see how long it takes one cookie to make the entire round, but I would guess about ten minutes.

Also at the snack show:  seafood on a stick.  More specifically, Squid on a Stick!  Food on sticks is popular over here, enough so that there might be a special post devoted to it later on, but I couldn't help myself; I had to share Squid on a Stick now.  Also available: scallops on a stick, mackerel on a stick, and salmon on a stick.

Again with the technical difficulties?  Oy vey. 

The blog seems to once again be fighting the march of technology.  Or someone's bad code.  Either way, if you think you see something wrong (broken links, weird formatting, missing posts), please holler.  I'm hoping things will be back to normal soon.